whoviannerdfighter:

my mom was carrying her ipad and a piece of pizza but she stumbled and dropped her ipad on the floor but held tight to her pizza and i’m so glad i know where my priorities come from

ahwaken:

Let’s be nothing… I heard it lasts forever.

dy1anobrien:

i don’t know why everyone makes the grim reaper out to be a bad guy i mean he’s just taking to you to the afterlife it’s not like he killed you it’s actually quite nice of him to walk you there imagine if you had to go alone

katara:

janemba:

qualitymeat:

LMAO STOP

I love this so much

i love how she didn’t know if that joke was going to flop or not she surprised herself i love it 

natjax:

In my dorm room we have a neutrogendered purple alien named George and we tuck him into bed every night

rneerkat:

“i bet you cant name two structures that can hold water!” “well, dam”

oknope:

i followed my heart and it led me into the fridge

absentions:

it’s so rare that you meet someone who makes you feel so warm and happy like they are like sunshine and you just want them around all the time

dulect:

could you please fill out this quick survey for me?

image

nintendoggy:

i dont want the d. i want the a. i want to pass this class

sorelatable:

It’s so frustrating when you’re like the only person who can see how evil and sneaky someone is and everyone else is like blind to it

orlandobloomfistmeintheass:

nazipervert:

"I’ll just leave that there"

damn homie just ripped his arm off and walked away that is some hardcore shit right there

orlandobloomfistmeintheass:

nazipervert:

"I’ll just leave that there"

damn homie just ripped his arm off and walked away that is some hardcore shit right there

sarahkeilman94:

when i was little i thought food poisoning meant that someone had literally poisoned your food and one time my sister got food poisoning from mccdonalds so i told everyone at school that the drive thru guy tried to kill my sister

SMOOTH AS FUCK

SMOOTH AS FUCK

YOUR EYELASHES ARE SOLONG
Anonymous

THANK YOU I LOVD IT